Thursday, May 21, 2009

Checking in

I'm mostly posting to keep my blog from being blown away into cyberspace. I need to grab some posts that I like off of here before I let it die it's much overdue death. In the future I may feel a need to write down my thought processes again, but not now. Writing isn't a natural medium for me. If there are thoughts crowding in my head dying to get out, they will simply spew out of my mouth, for better or worse. I talk; I'm a talker. That's what I do.

It's not that I don't think I can write. I do okay, much better than 10, or even 5, years ago. But I'll never be a writer. I have no compulsion to write, no story that is dying to get out, no poem dancing in my head, no pithy sayings ready to edify anyone who stumbles on them.

I don't want to post about the inner workings of my mind. I don't want to lay my mid-life crises open to inspection. No one really needs to hear how I'm handling the approach of another birthday or the disappointment over the choices of one of my children. I don 't want to talk about current events, religion, or politics. I don't know who's right or wrong...or if anyone is.

If I could write a story, or describe witty scenes of my life, I might keep going. But honestly, my days are pretty normal and my experiences not all that unique. I laugh and I cry. I fight my personal demons and my own character flaws. I succeed more times than I should, and fail more times than I like. I love my children. I love my husband. I haven't figured out the meaning of life. I haven't figured out how to live life to the fullest yet.

Some days I am who my husband sees me to be: strong, capable, loving, smart, and sexy. Some days I'm the person I dislike the most: paralyzed, petty, selfish, and indulgent. Some days I marvel at my own strength, other days I cringe at my own weakness. I don't expect too many people are very interested in reading about either version. ;-)

So all you writers out there keep clacking away at those keyboards. We need you. Those of us who don't write need to have something to fill our time!